Celtics vs. Heat

FAIRFAX, VA - Last night the Miami Heat beat the Philadelphia 76ers 97-91 to win their series four games to one.  That sets up the highly anticipated matchup between our Boston Celtics and the Heat. 

Both teams are headlined by their own respective "Big Three"s.  Our Celtics, of course, have Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett.  While the Heat have, probably, the most hated player in basketball, a dinosaur, and Dwayne Wade on their side.  The Celtics won the season series three games to one, although the one loss was our Celtics worst loss on the year, 23 points.  Since 2008, when our Celtics required Garnett and Ray, we have faced LeBron twice and Wade once in the playoffs (never have we faced the Raptors, for obvious reasons).  In 2008 we beat LeBron and the Cavaliers four games to three, 2010 we beat the Cavs four games to two.  Also in 2010, we beat Wade and the Heat four games to one.  Do not expect this year to be any different.

Over the offseason the biggest talk amongst the NBA crowd was where was LeBron going to go.  He was the last free agent to sign, of those who did sign to a team.  LeBron not only signed though, he announced where he was going on an ESPN special called "The Decision".  LeBron bought an hour of airtime, went to a YMCA, and announced, "I am going to take my talents to South Beach" all in the process of proving he has the biggest ego of all athletes.  This announcement broke the hearts of every person who has ever even thought of going to Cleveland, and simultaneously gave all Heat fans a big head and something to brag about.  The Heat automatically became championship favorites now with LeBron, Wade, and also newly acquired Chris Bosh. 

The only problem, how many teams have won a championship with three players? None.  The Heat have absolutely no supporting cast to go with their so-called "Big Three".  Our Celtics on the other hand, we have extensive depth, including one of the best point guards in the league in Rajon Rondo.  Rondo is averaging 19 points and 12 assists per game thus far, which is hilariously better than Mike Bibby and his 3.2 points and .8 assists per game. Outside of the Heat "Big Three", the next best points per game average is James Jones at 7.7. If the Celtics manage to shut down just one of the Heat Big Three, they are taking away about 20 points per game, guarenteeing a victory.

Expect a war, a war that lasts a little over a week.  Our current, playoff tested, and once NBA champions, Boston Celtics will overwhelm the overhyped Miami Heat easily in five games.  While LeBron may average about 30 points per game, Rondo will run over whatever pathetic excuse of a point guard the Heat throw at him and get at least three, if not five, triple doubles.  Prepare yourself for another championship run for our Celtics that starts by dismantling the already significantly dismantled Miami Heat.

Fun Fact: Dan Gilbert, the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers released a statement after LeBron announced he was leaving for Miami:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE"



This is just more proof that we will run over the Heat.  Gilbert also owns Fat Heads, which are life size stickers of professional players that you put up on a wall, pretty creepy.  After LeBron's announcement, Gilbert set the price on all LeBron Fat Heads to $16.83. Why? That is the year Benedict Arnold was born.